Steve’s story is hard hitting and emotional, showing the huge impact mental health issues can have.
“As a parent you seem to think that situations are never going to happen to you, well I couldn’t have been more wrong. No parent should ever lose a child, even the events leading up to Chelsea’s death was something as a parent I didn’t know how to deal with.
Growing up Chelsea blue was such a beautiful, loving, bubbly girl who always made the room brighten up with her big smile and even bigger personality.. she wanted to help anyone in any situation – “mother hen” as she was known. She was a fantastic singer and performer and her talent in Gymnastics was amazing!
Before our eyes, this once full of life, not a care in the world, full of smiles girl started to change and change fast.
Her attitude changed, the life long friends disappeared and her circle of friends changed.
Her appearance and once bubbly self was fading away. She started to lose a lot of weight rapidly and we took her to the GP where we was referred to CAMHs to help address the weight loss which was a eating disorder.
We were put on what seemed like a ever lasting waiting list and while waiting the weight was still being lost.
While at school Chelsea had taken a significant overdose of over the counter painkillers and was taken to hospital where she was put on a drip for 5 days.
When she came home the eating disorder escalated to anorexia and she was admitted into Hull Royal where she spent in total nearly 16 weeks.
As parents watching your child fade away in front of your eyes was heartbreaking. Chelsea’s relationship with food was none existent, it looked at times like you were trying to force feed Chelsea – she was genuinely scared.
With Chelsea being a young teen she was just like any other – she loved social media. It can be really good. But what we found out is that Chelsea Blue had somehow come across some ‘not nice profiles’ on her Instagram.
Known as Pro Anna (pro anorexia) and Pro Mia (pro bulimia, basically it is people on profiles who are promoting these illnesses.
We managed to log on to Chelsea’s Instagram account and what we found shocked us. Someone on these profiles was basically telling and explaining to Chelsea how to kill herself.
Shocking statements like:
If you are hungry Chelsea don’t eat , eat some wet toilet roll or eat some ice’
‘Even if your cold Chelsea – fool the doctors tell them you are warm so they open the windows and when you shiver you will burn more calories’
These are just some of the things we read.
The social media platforms were informed and the response was that they are trying to tackle these profiles – but they claimed it was very hard.
As a parent seeing these posts I was so angry thinking why is someone telling my daughter to do this.
I was lost. No book of parenting had prepared me for what we – as a family – were going through. I didn’t know what to do.
After lots of questions and searching I was told to ring the Charity called SEED – Eating Disorder Recovery. And I’m so glad I did. Marg Oaten set it up because she was desperate for help when her daughter – Emmerdale actress Gemma Oaten – struggled with her eating disorder.
I spoke with them over the phone and the support from SEED was lovely. The emails that were full of information really helped me to understand what Chelsea was going through.
I phoned them one night upset with what was going on with Chelsea and I spoke with Marg. Gemma was in the background and shouted for me to get Chelsea home so they can work with her. “Don’t let her get sectioned.” they said.
Unfortunately that was out of my hands. Chelsea’s eating disorder had got hold of her rapidly and she was sectioned from Hull Royal.
Chelsea was a in-patient at a number of different secure psychiatric hospitals.
Chelsea Blue was lost from the day she was sectioned. Our baby girl had changed and things got dramatically worse.
Chelsea seemed to learn new ways of self harm in the hospitals – it seemed to be an expected culture of self harm and the other peers all appeared to egg each other on to do such things to themselves.
Chelsea had only ever done some superficial cuts and a few overdoes while at home, but once she arrived at these inpatient hospitals we were told of deep cuts, swallowing things like batteries and other foreign objects, even tying ligatures. I had to Google what a ligatures was. I was devastated. Chelsea was head banging to the extent of knocking herself unconscious. In the paperwork there was multiple reports of her doing this with with others – like it was a good thing to do.
Unfortunately Chelsea Blue was self harming that much it became like an addiction of self harm rather than a self harm of killing herself.
Chelsea was a high risk patient and was on very strict observation timings to be checked around the clock. Unfortunately on the 10th April, 2021 Chelsea had done an act of self harm where irreversible damage occurred.
Chelsea Blue sadly lost her life on the 12th April, 2021 at 14:52.
My baby girl had lost her battle with her mental health and an eating disorder…
The damage it has done to my own mental health is shocking. Not only have I had to deal with the loss of my oldest daughter and the ordeal she’s had with her mental health and anorexia.
I have had to deal with how do I carry on, how do I stay strong for my other daughters, what do I do now.
My other four daughters have all coped in their own ways and also have their struggles in their own way.
We as a family are making sure that they have the support and extra support if needed.
I’m so lucky to have a strong family. Myself and Chelsea’s mum parted a long time ago but we get on brilliantly.
We have helped each other through this and will continue to do so.
Just before the life support was coming to the end for Chelsea – while she was laid in intensive care – I made a promise to Chelsea Blue that I would do everything I could to help other people in the same position. And I also made a promise to myself that I would help other parents that are unfortunately are going through the same as we are.
There is still – even these days – a very big stigma about mental health and the loss of young life. There is still too many people who don’t understand the complexity of eating disorders and how deadly they can be.
We need to kick that stigma and realise that it’s ok not to be ok.
And if we as a family can overcome what we have and try to turn something so devastating into something positive then we all can do it. Just don’t suffer in silence!
It’s good to talk. But more importantly good to listen.
There are so many charities out there that are there to help.
Please support the Charity SEED. Gemma Oaten has been the ‘Gem’ that she is and has given so much support to myself . This is why Chelsea’s new journey is to help raise awareness for eating disorders/mental health And raise vital funds for Seed for them to help carrying on giving the life changing services to those that need it.
Mental health is the silent killer…it hides behind a smile so be aware.
Our new page for seed is https://gofund.me/229b8e99.
SEED are looking for some new premises and are setting up some therapy rooms. Gemma Oaten has said they would like to dedicate a therapy room and call it the Chelsea Blue Room so that Chelsea can still carry on helping people from heaven.
It will be next door to the reality TV star NIkki Graham room. She sadly died the day before Chelsea in April, 2021… also from an eating disorder – anorexia.”
The Bridlington Echo would sincerely like to thanks Steve Blackford for his article which forms part of our Mental Health Week series of articles which are being written to raise awareness of issues surrounding mental illness.
